Its been a while, so I will be rusty. Who the hell reads this anyway other than me....
Damn why is it that suddenly I am surrounded by so many people and still feel lonely. I have heard of this, not really researched it though. Note to self (as if this is anything other than that): Should read up on this state of mind/life.
Something bittersweet, a little longing for company but maybe not just any,
Dont sway I tell myself. Maintain that calm which you have been appreciated for. That level headedness which is what probably draws people to you.
Who the fuse will understand the freakishly strong currents that are flowing underneath my demeanor. It comes out when I drink though and the last few times it has turned a little ugly. As usual we will reserve that for later.
I like chilling but it had been some time since I had the company that made me happy. When I got that company I probably abused it by getting a little too close for comfort. What do I do? I am human and my need to socialise and bond had taken over.
The last thing that I want to be called is someone who cant let go or sticks too close. Am I really that person, have I driven away someone I had started to like quite a bit. I dont know, maybe that person is just the same and I have started imagining things.Truth is that I am stuck between being a protector and a human who longs for close company. Sometime I hate it when I want to hold someone real close and tell them how much they mean to me but then the "serve and protect" element in me stops me. Note to self: Don't get too high. Oops meant to write dont get too close ;)
In Honey Singh style (don't ask how I got hooked to that; but then again) Ab tu bata saale ki yeh pyaar hai toh nahin. To that I say nope. This person is married and I will never never never ever complicate their life and mine in the process too. It might not matter to them whether they lose me or not but I care. I hate losing people. A moment of madness and you throw so many things straight down the gutter.
Maybe its best I stay away, but what do I have to go back to. Not that I have burned any bridges getting into this state but nothing will be the same again. I know it.
Right now I am laughing with my rommie while I write this. Am I screwed in the head or what. I wanna keep writing. This state of mind usually brings the best out of me. I seriously hope this does not see the light of day.
Anyway meeting T tomorrow, should I discuss this with her ki chod doon,,,,, One more riddle to solve.... Scribble scribble I say till you solve this riddle,,,, Aaaaargh going mad
There.... I have vented. Let me go back to reading my Utopian Nation....
Damn why is it that suddenly I am surrounded by so many people and still feel lonely. I have heard of this, not really researched it though. Note to self (as if this is anything other than that): Should read up on this state of mind/life.
Something bittersweet, a little longing for company but maybe not just any,
Dont sway I tell myself. Maintain that calm which you have been appreciated for. That level headedness which is what probably draws people to you.
Who the fuse will understand the freakishly strong currents that are flowing underneath my demeanor. It comes out when I drink though and the last few times it has turned a little ugly. As usual we will reserve that for later.
I like chilling but it had been some time since I had the company that made me happy. When I got that company I probably abused it by getting a little too close for comfort. What do I do? I am human and my need to socialise and bond had taken over.
The last thing that I want to be called is someone who cant let go or sticks too close. Am I really that person, have I driven away someone I had started to like quite a bit. I dont know, maybe that person is just the same and I have started imagining things.Truth is that I am stuck between being a protector and a human who longs for close company. Sometime I hate it when I want to hold someone real close and tell them how much they mean to me but then the "serve and protect" element in me stops me. Note to self: Don't get too high. Oops meant to write dont get too close ;)
In Honey Singh style (don't ask how I got hooked to that; but then again) Ab tu bata saale ki yeh pyaar hai toh nahin. To that I say nope. This person is married and I will never never never ever complicate their life and mine in the process too. It might not matter to them whether they lose me or not but I care. I hate losing people. A moment of madness and you throw so many things straight down the gutter.
Maybe its best I stay away, but what do I have to go back to. Not that I have burned any bridges getting into this state but nothing will be the same again. I know it.
Right now I am laughing with my rommie while I write this. Am I screwed in the head or what. I wanna keep writing. This state of mind usually brings the best out of me. I seriously hope this does not see the light of day.
Anyway meeting T tomorrow, should I discuss this with her ki chod doon,,,,, One more riddle to solve.... Scribble scribble I say till you solve this riddle,,,, Aaaaargh going mad
There.... I have vented. Let me go back to reading my Utopian Nation....
